I think it's real easy for people to get down on themselves, focusing only on negative things (particularly in trying times). I'm not a particularly negative person, but I want to try something crazy. I want to put down on paper (or blog, rather) why I like me. I want to write out 15 reasons why I think I am awesome, and try to not come across as cocky. What if everybody liked themselves simply for whom they are? I suppose I'd have to think more about it to give a real answer, but here goes.
1) I drive a stick.
2) I got into med school.
3) I have saved lives.
4) I followed my ultimate childhood dream and entered the Air Force.
5) I can live like a king on $20,000 per year.
6) I have successfully lived in suburban, rural, and urban environments.
7) I really really like country music.
8) I am still passionate about emergency medicine, even after watching a 3 month old infant die on Christmas Day.
9) I have watched Elton John, Van Halen, and Tom Petty play live.
10) I got a full-ride to med school.
11) I look really good in a suit.
12) I have worked 24 hours straight and more than 100 hours in a week regularly.
13) I know where to find the best pizza in the world.
14) I don't know the last time I turned down a challenge without a really good reason.
15) God loves me for me, despite my best efforts.
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
When you have a free $2500
I've spent the past week or so in deep thought about the best way to spend my summer. I already have some great plans: open water swim race in P-cola in May, Air Force training through June, Denver in the beginning of July, possibly teaching wilderness medicine for 2 weeks in Kentucky in July, and Washington for climbing/touring last week in July. Tons of fun, I know.
I have looked into the possibility of a mountaineering course, just to hammer out the essentials (i.e. crevasse rescue, running belays, etc.). I found one that works out perfectly, running from Aug. 1-13 with Mountain Madness. It seems perfect.
I got to thinking, however, if this would be the best use of my money. It is expensive, but I have the money available. It is something I really want to do. Am I being selfish, though? With the price of this class I could build a couple wells in Africa, or buy vaccines for kids, or any other number of things to more directly help the world. I was very back and forth for the past week.
Two things helped me to get closer to make a decision. First one. I was at Kensington for their Wednesday night service, and I just had a feeling along the lines of, "if you don't learn this now, when will you learn it?" I wouldn't go so far as to say that God spoke to me (but I'm not one to rule that out), but it was just an overwhelming feeling that this mountaineering matters somehow. Somehow it is a big deal in my life and potentially for the rest of the world.
Second one. Back in 2004 when the Tsunami hit southeast Asia I was at Boston University. I was about halfway through my sophomore year, and beginning to feel like this college thing was going to last forever. When the Tsunami hit I really wanted to do something to help, but didn't have any way of helping out. I felt like I was sort of wasting my time and school, setting myself up for a comfortable middle-class lifestyle where I don't really help anybody. A real wise person by the name of Jesse helped me out. He pointed out that when Paul went through his conversion on the road to Damascus he spent years in meditation and studying before he started his ministry. Even after literally speaking to Jesus about what to do he had a lot of preperation to take care of. What Jesse was getting at is that sometimes it's not as simple as throwing yourself into the disaster zone. I was likely getting ready for something else in Boston, and that something was more important to my story. So how does that apply to me now? I'm not sure. But I do know that mountaineering evokes a certain passion in me that I can't deny (ask me about my conversation with God at Thunderstorm Junction). John Eldgredge seems to support the idea that pursuing a passion will make the world a better place, which is why I think charities after Hurricane Katrina to get musicians' their instruments back are a good thing -- indirectly they push other people to pursue their passions. To summarize, I think that maybe (just maybe) paying for this class will be like the fishing idea -- teaching a man to fish vs giving a man a fish. With skills in mountaineering I would have access to parts of the world that do not get tourist doctors. I would be able to raise HUGE amounts of money with climbs (possibly into the millions for big mountains). I'm sure I can't even fathom the good that God might be planning with all this.
I can't deny the fact that my $2500 could help some people live, and people may die (or at least certainly maintain a poor lifestyle) as a result of me paying for this class; but I feel like that's a pressure I can't put on myself. That would create guilt for every expense beyond survival (heating for a house, renting a movie, etc.). Not worthwhile or correct.
So I think I'm going to sign up for this class. Anybody want to join me?
I have looked into the possibility of a mountaineering course, just to hammer out the essentials (i.e. crevasse rescue, running belays, etc.). I found one that works out perfectly, running from Aug. 1-13 with Mountain Madness. It seems perfect.
I got to thinking, however, if this would be the best use of my money. It is expensive, but I have the money available. It is something I really want to do. Am I being selfish, though? With the price of this class I could build a couple wells in Africa, or buy vaccines for kids, or any other number of things to more directly help the world. I was very back and forth for the past week.
Two things helped me to get closer to make a decision. First one. I was at Kensington for their Wednesday night service, and I just had a feeling along the lines of, "if you don't learn this now, when will you learn it?" I wouldn't go so far as to say that God spoke to me (but I'm not one to rule that out), but it was just an overwhelming feeling that this mountaineering matters somehow. Somehow it is a big deal in my life and potentially for the rest of the world.
Second one. Back in 2004 when the Tsunami hit southeast Asia I was at Boston University. I was about halfway through my sophomore year, and beginning to feel like this college thing was going to last forever. When the Tsunami hit I really wanted to do something to help, but didn't have any way of helping out. I felt like I was sort of wasting my time and school, setting myself up for a comfortable middle-class lifestyle where I don't really help anybody. A real wise person by the name of Jesse helped me out. He pointed out that when Paul went through his conversion on the road to Damascus he spent years in meditation and studying before he started his ministry. Even after literally speaking to Jesus about what to do he had a lot of preperation to take care of. What Jesse was getting at is that sometimes it's not as simple as throwing yourself into the disaster zone. I was likely getting ready for something else in Boston, and that something was more important to my story. So how does that apply to me now? I'm not sure. But I do know that mountaineering evokes a certain passion in me that I can't deny (ask me about my conversation with God at Thunderstorm Junction). John Eldgredge seems to support the idea that pursuing a passion will make the world a better place, which is why I think charities after Hurricane Katrina to get musicians' their instruments back are a good thing -- indirectly they push other people to pursue their passions. To summarize, I think that maybe (just maybe) paying for this class will be like the fishing idea -- teaching a man to fish vs giving a man a fish. With skills in mountaineering I would have access to parts of the world that do not get tourist doctors. I would be able to raise HUGE amounts of money with climbs (possibly into the millions for big mountains). I'm sure I can't even fathom the good that God might be planning with all this.
I can't deny the fact that my $2500 could help some people live, and people may die (or at least certainly maintain a poor lifestyle) as a result of me paying for this class; but I feel like that's a pressure I can't put on myself. That would create guilt for every expense beyond survival (heating for a house, renting a movie, etc.). Not worthwhile or correct.
So I think I'm going to sign up for this class. Anybody want to join me?
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