Following in the footsteps.

I got an email today about my sister starting up a blog. I didn't think much of it, so I clicked on the link and read it. I then read my brother's blog and realized that I was the only McClain progeny without a blog. I figure I've followed in the Mary Kate/Paul footsteps in a lot of things, so why not in a blog. Besides, I suck at conveying myself to others, so why not do it over the blog medium. As with everything that I write, my main audience will be myself for personal reflection. I find I write most clearly, however, when I have the accountability of other readers. So here goes...

Something happened today that I have been waiting for since last August. I got a letter in the mail from Wayne State's School of Medicine. It was thicker than the other med school replies I've gotten, and needless to say I got invited to an interview. It was a funny feeling. I was surprised at how unexcited I was. By all means, I felt an incredible feeling of relief, but I wasn't excited. It just sort of felt like I was climbing Mt. Everest and I made it to high camp. I have been working for this goal for such a long time, it is just natural that I make it. Sure tons of people fail every year, but they only truly fail when they stop trying. Looking into Plan B options also decreased the level of excitement. I am beginning to make connections in Ethiopia, Kenya, and Singapore -- why would I want to go live in Detroit for 4 years? I think my feelings would be summed up by a little answer I got from God the other day.

I had been putting a lot of thought into different ideas for the next year (Peace Corps, alpine rescue, medic school, etc.). I was running cabs for work (i.e. driving old people around) and I was stopped at an intersection. I looked over at a church marquee next to me with low expectations (I generally find those messages either lame or irrelevant), but it just said "Patience." Whether God had me targeted or not I realized that I have spent the past 3 years learning how to be patient. Why should I be impatient now? The past 6 years have been perfectly sculpted (despite some little nicks that I've put into it), so why do I need to manipulate anything now? It's a good feeling. My interview is scheduled for March 31 at 1:00, and I'm going to put on my best suit. I'm going to walk in with a big smile and feel absolutely no pressure. It is the one interview I will ever have in which I have nothing to lose. If I get in, I get to start the road to being a doctor. What could be better than that? If I don't get in, I get to go to Kenya or Ethiopia or anywhere else for a year or awesomeness and try again next year. What could be better than that?

I learned something about myself over the past couple of weeks. I began by looking at my activities. I noticed that I have played just every sport imaginable -- lacrosse, water polo, swimming, rugby, soccer, fencing, adventure racing, alpine climbing, etc. -- but I haven't stuck with any of them. I always just assumed I was a quitter, until I realized my approach to challenges. When I am faced with something difficult, my level of motivation is inversely proportional to the level of difficulty. The harder something is the more I want to do it. Hence, an 8 hour race in December is much more appealing than a 3 hour triathlon, and a 2 day climb of the tallest mountain in New York is much more appealing than a game of rugby. Ultimately, I realized that I am an adventurer. I want challenges that make me think about new avenues of life. I want to be pushed to my absolute limit -- and I am willing to pay to inflict that upon myself. Why else would I walk 25 miles down the NC/SC coastline? I'm not sure there is any better way to pursue life. Not that I want to beat myself into submission everyday. I see a conversation as just as much of an adventure as a motorcycle tour of Taiwan. I'm not sure what that means for me, but I like knowing it.

I think this blog is going to be more of what's going on in my head than what's going on around me. We'll see where it goes -- it looks like this is a bit of adventure in and of itself.