The summer after graduating high school I remember playing lacrosse with some guys at the Athens stadium. At the time I was planning on playing lacrosse at BU. I was playing goalie on the north end of the field when I just had the overwhelming desire to never play lacrosse again. I just realized that I was done. I have since picked up a stick every now and then, but my gut feeling was right -- my lacrosse career ended right then and there.
I had a similar type of gut feeling about 10 minutes ago. I spent the past 2 hours applying to 4 jobs (1 in Portland at OHSU's medical center, 3 at UCSF's medical center), and it hit me that I already miss school. I've heard people talk about how much they miss school, but it seems like those feelings hit about 1-3 years after they graduated. I never expected to get that feeling the day after turning in my last assignment (and a day before actually graduating).
I was walking home from applying to those jobs and it hit me that I need to get an MD/PhD. I am a man of structure. I LOVE always having work to do. I love having long-term and short-term projects that require simultaneous concentration. Even while I was in school I never wanted to be done. Just getting an MD will merely delay the inevitable. In 5-6 years I'll have the same feeling I have now. The PhD will be a license to be a student for the rest of my life. The difference in pre-PhD and post-PhD is I go from having teachers to being my own teacher.
This morning was a great deep breath. Now I'm ready for school again.
Friday, April 24, 2009
Monday, April 20, 2009
Applying for a job?
I found the first job I would seriously consider pursuing (assuming I do end up turning down Wayne State, which I am leaning toward). It's a clinical research coordinator job at the National Jewish Hospital in Denver, doing work with COPD patients. Apparently this hospital is the #1 respiratory hospital in the country, which is perfect as I am considering critical care medicine as a strong possibility (i.e. internal medicine with a sub specialty in pulmonology). It looks like I fit all of the qualifications. Now I just need to write a resume. Weird. I never thought I'd be doing this stuff.
Biochem Done
I just got out of my biochem final. It went real well. We were allowed to make a cheat sheet, but I totally forgot about that; but I think I was better off without. The test was either random trivia (which would have been a crap shoot to have that stuff on the sheet) or critical thinking (which you either know the information to interpret or you don't). I think a sheet would have helped on maybe one question, so I guess I win overall. It's funny leaving biochem thinking that it was a pretty easy class. Lots of people told me that it was the hardest class I would ever have to take in my undergrad. For me, that title would certainly go to either second semester inorganic chemistry or first semester physics. Those classes literally brought me to tears with certain concepts (titrations and Bernoulli's Principle). Microbiology was also hard because there was so much dang information to learn in so little time. My two favorite classes were the most unlikely of all: organic chemistry and biochem. Strange.
Saturday, April 18, 2009
Finals and Furanose
I went to Wayne State today for a financial aid seminar, and I realized what I am in for in med school. I have always considered myself old-school as far as education goes, and today showed me just how old school I am.
The seminar included about 30 students, many of whom had parents with them. The parents mostly asked questions about post-med school income. The students mostly asked questions about what can be paid for with their loans. Money. Understandable at a financial aid seminar.
The trouble hit when an Army officer gave a little presentation about the Army Medical Corps. It seemed a bit out of place, but it's something I'm interested in so I didn't mind. At one point she made a joke, something along the lines of "in the Army program you won't have to worry so much about making a big income to pay off debts, but you guys would do this for free anyway, wouldn't you?" I nodded my head at the remark while everybody else laughed at it. I realized just what it looks like to go into medicine for the money. Most of my clinical experience has been without payment, and I intend to keep my paid/unpaid ratio as small as possible. I think John Donne (and Hemingway, sort of) sums my feelings up well. I guess those people who are in it for the money have a miserable future and a very difficult job ahead of themselves.
I've deviated from my topic, though. Old school. To me, schooling should be focused on education. I have always had a little problem with medical school (rooting back probably before high school) because it's so vocational. You struggle through the 4 years and get wedged into a job. Law has always appealed to me because it's so applicable to everything. You leave law school educated, coherent, and intelligent. You leave med school with a job. I guess I just saw the manifestation of that today. I've looked into some MD/JD programs just for kicks, but it kind of looks like a lot of work for nothing. Since I don't intend to stop going to school maybe I could knock out a law degree later on in life. Could be fun.
Final schedule: Biochem and Capstone test Monday. Geology paper and poster due Tuesday. Shakespeare paper due Thursday. Pretty easy finals week ahead of me.
The seminar included about 30 students, many of whom had parents with them. The parents mostly asked questions about post-med school income. The students mostly asked questions about what can be paid for with their loans. Money. Understandable at a financial aid seminar.
The trouble hit when an Army officer gave a little presentation about the Army Medical Corps. It seemed a bit out of place, but it's something I'm interested in so I didn't mind. At one point she made a joke, something along the lines of "in the Army program you won't have to worry so much about making a big income to pay off debts, but you guys would do this for free anyway, wouldn't you?" I nodded my head at the remark while everybody else laughed at it. I realized just what it looks like to go into medicine for the money. Most of my clinical experience has been without payment, and I intend to keep my paid/unpaid ratio as small as possible. I think John Donne (and Hemingway, sort of) sums my feelings up well. I guess those people who are in it for the money have a miserable future and a very difficult job ahead of themselves.
I've deviated from my topic, though. Old school. To me, schooling should be focused on education. I have always had a little problem with medical school (rooting back probably before high school) because it's so vocational. You struggle through the 4 years and get wedged into a job. Law has always appealed to me because it's so applicable to everything. You leave law school educated, coherent, and intelligent. You leave med school with a job. I guess I just saw the manifestation of that today. I've looked into some MD/JD programs just for kicks, but it kind of looks like a lot of work for nothing. Since I don't intend to stop going to school maybe I could knock out a law degree later on in life. Could be fun.
Final schedule: Biochem and Capstone test Monday. Geology paper and poster due Tuesday. Shakespeare paper due Thursday. Pretty easy finals week ahead of me.
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Monday, April 13, 2009
I was thinking about the stabbing from last night, and how the EMS world is a funny funny place to work in.
You always hear that death is an everyday thing, but I guess I never realized it until I saw people die everyday. I mean, I've only seen 2 people die, but both times felt very normal. If you try to stop a car with the back of your head it just makes sense that you will die. If you get stabbed where this guy got stabbed, it just makes sense that you will die. I don't see any reason to get emotional about it. So while I got some equipment ready and joked with some firefighters and cops, this dead guy's girlfriend was sitting on the steps of their condo about 30 feet away. It was absolutely crazy how 2 worlds can exist so close to each other. In one world are the harbingers of life and death, in the other are the people who were having a totally normal day before we showed up. Normal as far as watching Comedy Central, or eating some evening ice cream, or taking a walk through the neighborhood. It always blows my mind at how fast life goes from normal to catastrophic. I guess the moral of this story is don't get stabbed.
http://www.wzzm13.com/news/local/story.aspx?storyid=107940&catid
You always hear that death is an everyday thing, but I guess I never realized it until I saw people die everyday. I mean, I've only seen 2 people die, but both times felt very normal. If you try to stop a car with the back of your head it just makes sense that you will die. If you get stabbed where this guy got stabbed, it just makes sense that you will die. I don't see any reason to get emotional about it. So while I got some equipment ready and joked with some firefighters and cops, this dead guy's girlfriend was sitting on the steps of their condo about 30 feet away. It was absolutely crazy how 2 worlds can exist so close to each other. In one world are the harbingers of life and death, in the other are the people who were having a totally normal day before we showed up. Normal as far as watching Comedy Central, or eating some evening ice cream, or taking a walk through the neighborhood. It always blows my mind at how fast life goes from normal to catastrophic. I guess the moral of this story is don't get stabbed.
http://www.wzzm13.com/news/local/story.aspx?storyid=107940&catid
Trauma
Last night I got called in to work on an ambulance. In the past I have always worked with a supervisor (as a loophole so that they could say I was on a supervisor truck, and that all of our trucks are dual paramedic still). This time I got to work with a straight up paramedic, which was real cool. It was this little 22 year old girl that I did a clinical with a couple of years back, and she is a fantastic paramedic.
It turned out being a pretty eventful night. We got a big-time stabbing, a facial trauma, and a possible stroke; along with a few others. Overall, a good night.
Now I am more tired than I have ever been (I woke up 7 am Sunday morning and have been going since). I just got out of biochem, which I basically slept through. I was able to answer a question in lecture in my sleep, which I was pretty proud of. I guess the two goals for today are sleeping and studying, in that order.
It turned out being a pretty eventful night. We got a big-time stabbing, a facial trauma, and a possible stroke; along with a few others. Overall, a good night.
Now I am more tired than I have ever been (I woke up 7 am Sunday morning and have been going since). I just got out of biochem, which I basically slept through. I was able to answer a question in lecture in my sleep, which I was pretty proud of. I guess the two goals for today are sleeping and studying, in that order.
Saturday, April 11, 2009
Reed's Lake
I had a great workout today. I rode my bike out to Reeds Lake in East Grand Rapids, where Paul and I did that triathlon a little while back. I had a nice run around the lake, then rode back to my house. When I did the tri I was in tons of pain -- my knees were boycotting normal function; but this time I felt great. It was real nice. Depending on how I feel in the fall I might give that tri another shot. I know I could beat my time.
Big biochem test on Wednesday. This time I've gotta learn the Citric Acid Cycle and the Electron Transport Chain. Should be fun.
Speaking of school, on Tuesday my geology class went on a field trip to the wastewater treatment plant in Muskegon. It was a cool trip, but I noticed something a little strange -- I noticed that my professor was always standing next to me, and whenever I said anything she did this super girly laugh. All semester I had noticed that she treated me a little differently than everybody else (I could give LOTS of examples), and I think the Muskegon trip semi-confirmed the hypothesis that my professor has a crush on me (she just got her PhD and I think she went straight through, putting her in her mid to late 20's, so it's nothing ridiculous I guess). It's nothing I'm going to act on, but it gives me a good chuckle.
Big biochem test on Wednesday. This time I've gotta learn the Citric Acid Cycle and the Electron Transport Chain. Should be fun.
Speaking of school, on Tuesday my geology class went on a field trip to the wastewater treatment plant in Muskegon. It was a cool trip, but I noticed something a little strange -- I noticed that my professor was always standing next to me, and whenever I said anything she did this super girly laugh. All semester I had noticed that she treated me a little differently than everybody else (I could give LOTS of examples), and I think the Muskegon trip semi-confirmed the hypothesis that my professor has a crush on me (she just got her PhD and I think she went straight through, putting her in her mid to late 20's, so it's nothing ridiculous I guess). It's nothing I'm going to act on, but it gives me a good chuckle.
Thursday, April 9, 2009
The Gravity of Ohio
Since November 28 I have passed through Cleveland five times. Prior to this day I had been through just once. What is this new gravity? Why am I sucked into Ohio?
The first two times through I was driving to and from Boston. Ohio turned out to be a surprisingly large state, and Cleveland was the landmark taunting you...saying that you have traveled forever through Ohio, and you're still an eternity from Boston or Grand Rapids. This part of the trip was fun, though. I was in a van of about 8 other people I didn't know, and we were all just hanging out getting to know each other. Good fun. Turned out to be an amazing trip. I slept through Cleveland on the return trip, so I can't comment on that part....but it was around 10 am after driving all night--no fun.
Passes three and four were on my trip to Mt. Marcy. Great trip. The drive out there was a little awkward, seeing as I had never taken a road trip with two guys in their mid-forties. The first time through Cleveland I generally took an introverted posture. The return trip I was much more talkative.
Today was a whole new experience. I got called up to do a Long Distance Transfer (LDT) to pick somebody up from the Cleveland Clinic (i.e. a HUGE hospital in Cleveland) and bring her back to GR. I was paired up with a medic that I have talked to a bit, but didn't know incredibly well. It was real cool to get to know him throughout the trip. He does great medicine. We picked up a woman who had some pretty significant neurological problems. She had a bunch of scars on the left side of her head towards the front and she couldn't talk at all (aphasia). I bet she had some injury in what's called Broca's Area (speech production), but she seemed to be able to understand everything going on around her. I can't imagine that -- being completely aware that you are a seeming lump of a person, and not being able to do anything about it. With work she will probably be able to regain some communication skills, but she will never be able to return to her former level (she was a state trooper). Luckily she had a great husband that was trailing around with her. I doubt I'll ever find out what happens with her, though, and I think that's my biggest problem with healthcare.
Who knows when I'll get sucked into Cleveland again. Something tells me it will be real soon.
The first two times through I was driving to and from Boston. Ohio turned out to be a surprisingly large state, and Cleveland was the landmark taunting you...saying that you have traveled forever through Ohio, and you're still an eternity from Boston or Grand Rapids. This part of the trip was fun, though. I was in a van of about 8 other people I didn't know, and we were all just hanging out getting to know each other. Good fun. Turned out to be an amazing trip. I slept through Cleveland on the return trip, so I can't comment on that part....but it was around 10 am after driving all night--no fun.
Passes three and four were on my trip to Mt. Marcy. Great trip. The drive out there was a little awkward, seeing as I had never taken a road trip with two guys in their mid-forties. The first time through Cleveland I generally took an introverted posture. The return trip I was much more talkative.
Today was a whole new experience. I got called up to do a Long Distance Transfer (LDT) to pick somebody up from the Cleveland Clinic (i.e. a HUGE hospital in Cleveland) and bring her back to GR. I was paired up with a medic that I have talked to a bit, but didn't know incredibly well. It was real cool to get to know him throughout the trip. He does great medicine. We picked up a woman who had some pretty significant neurological problems. She had a bunch of scars on the left side of her head towards the front and she couldn't talk at all (aphasia). I bet she had some injury in what's called Broca's Area (speech production), but she seemed to be able to understand everything going on around her. I can't imagine that -- being completely aware that you are a seeming lump of a person, and not being able to do anything about it. With work she will probably be able to regain some communication skills, but she will never be able to return to her former level (she was a state trooper). Luckily she had a great husband that was trailing around with her. I doubt I'll ever find out what happens with her, though, and I think that's my biggest problem with healthcare.
Who knows when I'll get sucked into Cleveland again. Something tells me it will be real soon.
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
The Wisdom of Harry Katz
Despite a spirit instilled in few posts from earlier dates, Wayne State is by no means ruled out. I purely want to make a rational and educated decision. Needless to say, it is a difficult decision to feel out...there are a lot of unknowns.
I was talking to an old friend from Boston: Harry Katz. In my 2 1/2 years in Boston I feel like I made one friend, and that friend is Harry. He is the Mario Conway of my life. I was talking to him about all of this med school stuff and he brought up an amazing point. April 22 I find out about Wayne State -- if I get in I have to figure out if that's where I'm going, if I don't go (or don't get in) I have to figure out how to live for the next year. It's a problem that I didn't expect to have and it is very stressful. That all happens April 22. Right now I don't have a problem. I am problem-less, actually. I might have a problem April 22, but it's ridiculous to try to solve a problem that I don't have. Harry's a smart guy. He's shooting for law school now, and he'll make an amazing lawyer.
I talked with the pre-med adviser at Grand Valley about Illinois MD/PhD program a bit more. I'm not so sure about that stuff anymore, but we did have an interesting talk about re-applying. When I asked her if I could do better than Wayne, she responded, "you almost have a 4.0! I can't promise you will get into Duke or Harvard, but there are very few people that come to the table with the history that you have." She is sure I didn't get better results this year because of my late MCAT -- making me a late applicant. That is the reason I heard back from schools so late. She is confident that reapplication would get me better results at schools like Indiana, Illinois, and Case-Western. I have always been drawn to Indiana.
Hence the problem I thought I had. Should I take the risk and reapply? Should I just go to Wayne State? Is that settling? Is it possible to settle on a med school? I always thought you took what you can get as far as med school, but if I could do better than Wayne State shouldn't I do better?
I guess these are questions that will begin to be asked April 22.
I had a real good run yesterday, though. The girl I usually run with was sick, so I decided to make it a long day. I ended up going about 11 miles, the most I've ever run. The first 9 felt great. The last 2 were absolute hell. I think I'll go for 4 tomorrow, but now that I know I can get the long distance I want to do a 10+ mile day at least once a week. Gotta train for my 30 hour.
I was talking to an old friend from Boston: Harry Katz. In my 2 1/2 years in Boston I feel like I made one friend, and that friend is Harry. He is the Mario Conway of my life. I was talking to him about all of this med school stuff and he brought up an amazing point. April 22 I find out about Wayne State -- if I get in I have to figure out if that's where I'm going, if I don't go (or don't get in) I have to figure out how to live for the next year. It's a problem that I didn't expect to have and it is very stressful. That all happens April 22. Right now I don't have a problem. I am problem-less, actually. I might have a problem April 22, but it's ridiculous to try to solve a problem that I don't have. Harry's a smart guy. He's shooting for law school now, and he'll make an amazing lawyer.
I talked with the pre-med adviser at Grand Valley about Illinois MD/PhD program a bit more. I'm not so sure about that stuff anymore, but we did have an interesting talk about re-applying. When I asked her if I could do better than Wayne, she responded, "you almost have a 4.0! I can't promise you will get into Duke or Harvard, but there are very few people that come to the table with the history that you have." She is sure I didn't get better results this year because of my late MCAT -- making me a late applicant. That is the reason I heard back from schools so late. She is confident that reapplication would get me better results at schools like Indiana, Illinois, and Case-Western. I have always been drawn to Indiana.
Hence the problem I thought I had. Should I take the risk and reapply? Should I just go to Wayne State? Is that settling? Is it possible to settle on a med school? I always thought you took what you can get as far as med school, but if I could do better than Wayne State shouldn't I do better?
I guess these are questions that will begin to be asked April 22.
I had a real good run yesterday, though. The girl I usually run with was sick, so I decided to make it a long day. I ended up going about 11 miles, the most I've ever run. The first 9 felt great. The last 2 were absolute hell. I think I'll go for 4 tomorrow, but now that I know I can get the long distance I want to do a 10+ mile day at least once a week. Gotta train for my 30 hour.
Sunday, April 5, 2009
Rewind 5 years
Five years ago at this time I bought a book. This book shot me into the world of biological anthropology. Over the next 2 years I gained a significant interest in early human/Neandertal evolution. My goal was to head off to grad school at Washington University in St. Louis and study under Erik Trinkaus. I had begun correspondence with the anthropology department at Wash U, and I was about to email Trinkaus when I returned to Michigan and refocused everything into the medical world. Prof. Trinkaus is the world's leading expert on Neandertals and early humans throughout Europe and the Middle East.
When I heard about the MD/PhD stuff my first reaction was to email my old bio anthro professor at BU (Rich Lawler), just to get his opinion on the matter. He invested a lot in me at BU, and I know the prospect of me re-entering anthropology again would get him excited. I haven't gotten a response back from him, but it's a busy time of year for academic types so it'll take a while. Today I had the crazy idea to email Trinkaus. He looks like a nice enough guy in his pictures, so I thought I'd just make a crazy move. I basically asked if there was room in his field for experts in clinical medicine. It kind of feels like emailing Paul Simon.
Last night I worked the New Kids on the Block concert. It was pretty funny. They sang a bunch of their old songs. Totally worth getting paid $9 an hour to watch. We only had one patient -- she was quite the puker, too... hardcore convulsions and everything. Take note kids, don't drink 3 long islands plus a shot in an hour in a half when you barely drink at all.
At the concert I realized my absolute biggest fear, though -- ignorant mediocrity. I work with few EMTs who simply aren't any good at what they do. They love their job and basically center their lives around EMS work, but they suck at it. The worst part is that they have no idea...not because nobody will tell them, but that they refuse critical introspection. I tend to think "why center your life around something that you are bad at." But what if you don't know you're bad at it? It is my hope that I will be able to recognize areas that I'm bad at -- no matter what I'm doing. The idea of mediocrity terrifies me, though...especially if I'm ignorant of it.
When I heard about the MD/PhD stuff my first reaction was to email my old bio anthro professor at BU (Rich Lawler), just to get his opinion on the matter. He invested a lot in me at BU, and I know the prospect of me re-entering anthropology again would get him excited. I haven't gotten a response back from him, but it's a busy time of year for academic types so it'll take a while. Today I had the crazy idea to email Trinkaus. He looks like a nice enough guy in his pictures, so I thought I'd just make a crazy move. I basically asked if there was room in his field for experts in clinical medicine. It kind of feels like emailing Paul Simon.
Last night I worked the New Kids on the Block concert. It was pretty funny. They sang a bunch of their old songs. Totally worth getting paid $9 an hour to watch. We only had one patient -- she was quite the puker, too... hardcore convulsions and everything. Take note kids, don't drink 3 long islands plus a shot in an hour in a half when you barely drink at all.
At the concert I realized my absolute biggest fear, though -- ignorant mediocrity. I work with few EMTs who simply aren't any good at what they do. They love their job and basically center their lives around EMS work, but they suck at it. The worst part is that they have no idea...not because nobody will tell them, but that they refuse critical introspection. I tend to think "why center your life around something that you are bad at." But what if you don't know you're bad at it? It is my hope that I will be able to recognize areas that I'm bad at -- no matter what I'm doing. The idea of mediocrity terrifies me, though...especially if I'm ignorant of it.
Saturday, April 4, 2009
AR Season Hereth
The run yesterday turned out to be a bit of a downer. The park was a lot smaller than I was hoping, but it was nice exploring a new place. I think there was a cyclocross race last weekend, though, because there were a bunch of muddy ruts everywhere and some white lines on the ground. I decided to follow the course, forgetting in the first 100 feet that cross races are known to be super muddy and wet. Needless to say I gave my new shoes a good initiation to what they're in for in their lifetime. Probably only ended up running 3 miles or so, but the new shoes felt great on the trails.
Today was an unexpectedly hard workout. I went out to Lake Michigan and ran from down the beach to start off. I was planning to run to a pier that appear to be about a mile away, and I didn't think running in the sand would be too difficult. As it turns out running in the sand is absolutely killer, and the pier was about 3 km away...so it was a very hard run (and the ending sprint up a dune absolutely wiped me. I set up the slackline and did about 30 min. of balance work. It had been about 2 years since I last slacklined, so I was pretty rusty. It was fun nonetheless. Afterward I went for a 20 mile bike ride with some people from work. It was a pretty slow ride, so it was good for getting back into a biking groove. Overall, I am much more tired than I was expecting. Somehow I'll have to keep up this training.
Tonight New Kids on the Block are performing in GR, and I get to work the show. I am actually really excited...not for the low-quality music or 40 year olds dancing around the stage like girls. I'm excited simply because it's hilarious to be.
Today was an unexpectedly hard workout. I went out to Lake Michigan and ran from down the beach to start off. I was planning to run to a pier that appear to be about a mile away, and I didn't think running in the sand would be too difficult. As it turns out running in the sand is absolutely killer, and the pier was about 3 km away...so it was a very hard run (and the ending sprint up a dune absolutely wiped me. I set up the slackline and did about 30 min. of balance work. It had been about 2 years since I last slacklined, so I was pretty rusty. It was fun nonetheless. Afterward I went for a 20 mile bike ride with some people from work. It was a pretty slow ride, so it was good for getting back into a biking groove. Overall, I am much more tired than I was expecting. Somehow I'll have to keep up this training.
Tonight New Kids on the Block are performing in GR, and I get to work the show. I am actually really excited...not for the low-quality music or 40 year olds dancing around the stage like girls. I'm excited simply because it's hilarious to be.
Friday, April 3, 2009
AR Season Cometh
I am unofficially deciding that April 3 is the official start to my adventure race season. I'm starting it off with an exploratory run at Johnson Park today. We'll see how it goes. I might try some night stuff tonight. Tomorrow is a 20 mile ride out on the lakeshore (just a little one to get the legs moving). Who knows what's coming next. I've got like 2 months until my first race...plenty of time to train for a little 6 hour beginner race (i.e. clear the course in 4 hours). Now all I need is the new Raleigh.
Yesterday was a bit of a downer of a day. I got word that I didn't get a research internship I was going for. That means I am somewhat jobless this summer (except for a measly 20 hours a week max at my job now). The more I think about, too, the less I want to go to Wayne State (even with the MD/PhD idea aside). In talking with the interviewer ER doc he seemed to think that I wanted to practice big city medicine. My ideas of a good medical school is that big city med schools are better (as a result of the clinical experience), but I have no desire to live in a big city again...let alone practice medicine in a big city for the rest of my life. If I plan to live in a rural/suburban area (I don't think I could live in an area more dense than Grand Rapids and still easily be happy), it should follow that I learn that sort of medicine (which also re-opens awesome schools like Duke, UNC, and Cornell). I am wondering if I should attend Wayne State if I KNOW that I won't be happy living in Detroit; and by attending Wayne I would be gaining urban medical attributes and skills. It is a great school and would give me a great education...but there are better schools for me.
I have not nearly rules out Wayne State this year. I just think it would be ridiculous to go there this year simply because it was the only place I got in. I refuse to settle on an issue that has such a large bearing on the rest of my life.
Yesterday I found myself hoping that I get denied from Wayne State. I felt like it would just simplify things -- I wouldn't have to make any hard decisions. Taking a step back, it seems kind of ridiculous for me to attend a school that I hope denies me admission (especially when I will have to basically give them my life for 4 years and a huge amount of money). I know I should be excited about the prospect of attending a medical school, and if I'm not excited about it I darn well better not go there.
Tomorrow is another day. We'll see what happens then.
Yesterday was a bit of a downer of a day. I got word that I didn't get a research internship I was going for. That means I am somewhat jobless this summer (except for a measly 20 hours a week max at my job now). The more I think about, too, the less I want to go to Wayne State (even with the MD/PhD idea aside). In talking with the interviewer ER doc he seemed to think that I wanted to practice big city medicine. My ideas of a good medical school is that big city med schools are better (as a result of the clinical experience), but I have no desire to live in a big city again...let alone practice medicine in a big city for the rest of my life. If I plan to live in a rural/suburban area (I don't think I could live in an area more dense than Grand Rapids and still easily be happy), it should follow that I learn that sort of medicine (which also re-opens awesome schools like Duke, UNC, and Cornell). I am wondering if I should attend Wayne State if I KNOW that I won't be happy living in Detroit; and by attending Wayne I would be gaining urban medical attributes and skills. It is a great school and would give me a great education...but there are better schools for me.
I have not nearly rules out Wayne State this year. I just think it would be ridiculous to go there this year simply because it was the only place I got in. I refuse to settle on an issue that has such a large bearing on the rest of my life.
Yesterday I found myself hoping that I get denied from Wayne State. I felt like it would just simplify things -- I wouldn't have to make any hard decisions. Taking a step back, it seems kind of ridiculous for me to attend a school that I hope denies me admission (especially when I will have to basically give them my life for 4 years and a huge amount of money). I know I should be excited about the prospect of attending a medical school, and if I'm not excited about it I darn well better not go there.
Tomorrow is another day. We'll see what happens then.
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
I like those letters
I had a mock interview on Monday with the pre-med adviser at Grand Valley. It was kind of goofy because this lady used to work at the University of Illinois, and I think she forgot that she doesn't work there anymore. While she may be a GVSU adviser by name, she is clearly an Illinois recruiter by profession. It was weird. She did throw an interesting idea my way, however.
Throughout the interview we talked a lot about my history in archaeology and biological anthropology. She made the observation that it seems that I am still very interested in that stuff, which I am. I just find it impractical to go for an academic career (50% of humanities PhDs actually use their degree...that's not worth 8 years of grad work). Apparently, though, the University of Illinois offers MD/PhD programs that bridge departments. That is, I could get a traditional MD and a PhD in biological anthropology (probably in something like human/neaderthal interactions or something like that, osteology, or something like that). The big difficulty I see with this is convincing the admissions committee that these two degrees are compatible in some way...because I'm not sure they are (I just love both subjects). The upside is that I would come out of school debt free. Time-wise it would take me FOREVER. As it stands, if I matriculated at Wayne State this fall I will get my first real paycheck no earlier than 2017 (that is, as a full-blown doctor). A PhD would tack on at least 4 more years (probably more). That really doesn't deter me now, but when I'm 35 and still a college student I might reconsider, especially when I don't like college students or college campuses as it stands (although I LOVE school).
I sent an email to my old anthropology professor in Boston asking his opinion. As far as I can tell, getting a PhD because it sounds cool is just stupid. Getting a PhD in order to get free med school is ignorant. Getting a PhD because I'm interested in anthropology is approaching a decent decision. I guess I just need to get more educated on the matter.
April 22 I hear about Wayne State. That is still a wonderful option.
We'll see what happens. Decision time is a long way away.
Dr. John T. McClain MD/PhD, FACP, EMT-S, FF I/II
I like all of those letters after my name. I have half now. Maybe I can get more.
Throughout the interview we talked a lot about my history in archaeology and biological anthropology. She made the observation that it seems that I am still very interested in that stuff, which I am. I just find it impractical to go for an academic career (50% of humanities PhDs actually use their degree...that's not worth 8 years of grad work). Apparently, though, the University of Illinois offers MD/PhD programs that bridge departments. That is, I could get a traditional MD and a PhD in biological anthropology (probably in something like human/neaderthal interactions or something like that, osteology, or something like that). The big difficulty I see with this is convincing the admissions committee that these two degrees are compatible in some way...because I'm not sure they are (I just love both subjects). The upside is that I would come out of school debt free. Time-wise it would take me FOREVER. As it stands, if I matriculated at Wayne State this fall I will get my first real paycheck no earlier than 2017 (that is, as a full-blown doctor). A PhD would tack on at least 4 more years (probably more). That really doesn't deter me now, but when I'm 35 and still a college student I might reconsider, especially when I don't like college students or college campuses as it stands (although I LOVE school).
I sent an email to my old anthropology professor in Boston asking his opinion. As far as I can tell, getting a PhD because it sounds cool is just stupid. Getting a PhD in order to get free med school is ignorant. Getting a PhD because I'm interested in anthropology is approaching a decent decision. I guess I just need to get more educated on the matter.
April 22 I hear about Wayne State. That is still a wonderful option.
We'll see what happens. Decision time is a long way away.
Dr. John T. McClain MD/PhD, FACP, EMT-S, FF I/II
I like all of those letters after my name. I have half now. Maybe I can get more.
Detroit Receiving
There are two hospitals in America that I find to be absolutely iconic. They are the types of hospitals that get a constant flow of bloody, drunk, and miserable people; and somehow the staff maintains their sanity enough to keep on doing their medicine. The hospitals are the types that people make TV shows about (and no, not Cook County Hospital and ER...real-life TV shows). One of those hospitals is Baltimore Shock/Trauma. This hospital leads the world in trauma and emergency care. It helps that Baltimore is a horribly violent city.
The other iconic hospital is Detroit Receiving Hospital. It is a real goofy-looking building, having been built in the shadow of Star Trek fame. It is shiny-silver on the outside with tiny square windows. It has little gardens within that have modern art that looks like scaffolding. The pathologies, though, are wonderful. As a second-year student put it, "these people are sick." Detroit is pretty legendary for its lack of personal safety, and all of the lower and lower-middle class folks who can't pay their bill end up at Detroit Receiving (though it's trending toward Sinai-Grace, according to Dr. Schwartz).
My interview yesterday was inside Detroit Receiving. I got a good feeling from the start when I walked into the med school (which is literally a stones throw from Detroit Receiving, or an exaggerated fall) I told the security guard I was there for an interview. From down the hall I hear "Good Luck!" The girl who said it stopped, turned around, and followed with "you're going to do great, everybody here is real nice!" Apparently they are. She was right, everybody was nice. My tour guide showed me and a group of med-applicant yuppies around, and between outbursts of "I hate this place" he spoke rather highly of the school. My interviewer was an ER doc at Detroit Receiving, and he mostly just asked questions filling in gaps in my application -- mostly about switching from BU to GVSU. All went fairly smoothly.
I still can't honestly say if I want to go to Wayne. I'll know on April 22 if I'm in or not. I am wondering, though, if I were to re-apply again for next year. With my MCAT already done I would have a better shot at higher-tier schools (Duke, UNC, Standford, etc.). I guess the question remains, what makes a good doctor. I'll let you know when I figure it out.
The other iconic hospital is Detroit Receiving Hospital. It is a real goofy-looking building, having been built in the shadow of Star Trek fame. It is shiny-silver on the outside with tiny square windows. It has little gardens within that have modern art that looks like scaffolding. The pathologies, though, are wonderful. As a second-year student put it, "these people are sick." Detroit is pretty legendary for its lack of personal safety, and all of the lower and lower-middle class folks who can't pay their bill end up at Detroit Receiving (though it's trending toward Sinai-Grace, according to Dr. Schwartz).
My interview yesterday was inside Detroit Receiving. I got a good feeling from the start when I walked into the med school (which is literally a stones throw from Detroit Receiving, or an exaggerated fall) I told the security guard I was there for an interview. From down the hall I hear "Good Luck!" The girl who said it stopped, turned around, and followed with "you're going to do great, everybody here is real nice!" Apparently they are. She was right, everybody was nice. My tour guide showed me and a group of med-applicant yuppies around, and between outbursts of "I hate this place" he spoke rather highly of the school. My interviewer was an ER doc at Detroit Receiving, and he mostly just asked questions filling in gaps in my application -- mostly about switching from BU to GVSU. All went fairly smoothly.
I still can't honestly say if I want to go to Wayne. I'll know on April 22 if I'm in or not. I am wondering, though, if I were to re-apply again for next year. With my MCAT already done I would have a better shot at higher-tier schools (Duke, UNC, Standford, etc.). I guess the question remains, what makes a good doctor. I'll let you know when I figure it out.
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